The number one issue women have in sexual experiences is worrying about what they look like. The number one issue men have in sexual experiences is performance anxiety. So in the typical heterosexual sexual encounter we have one who wonders “Do I look sexy?” and one who wonders “Am I doing a good enough job?”
I hope he thinks I’m attractive enough.
I hope she thinks I’m good in bed.
I hope I look hot in this position.
I hope my cock is hard enough.
Like two trains running parallel to each other never touching.
My cock isn’t hard, I hope she doesn’t think I’m a bad lover.
His cock isn’t hard, I hope he doesn’t think I’m unattractive.
We are spending all of our energy concerned about how the other is perceiving us in pleasure that we have forgotten the pleasure itself.
No one can give you the experience of pleasure. Pleasure is a neurophysiological experience that happens INSIDE the body.
What happens when we both re-focus on that?