cosmo meens

Rewriting Sexual Shame

Rewriting Sexual Shame

How do we heal sexual shame that comes from society, culture, family, friends?

Are your actions aligning with your values?

We are all raised by families and societies that impact how we are shaped. Negative experiences have greater imprinting power on our bodies and our nervous systems. One, or many, continuous negative experiences around desire or sexuality can make it seem almost impossible to fully embrace the pleasure that your body is capable of.

Small traumas such as “be a man, get over it.” Big traumas of assault or surgeries or accidents.

“You’re not supposed to do that.”

“That’s disgusting. I can’t believe you like that.”

Emotional abuse. Sexual shaming. Religious guilt. All these experiences tell our bodies that it is not safe to be present in them. And when we are unable to be present in our bodies, we cannot align ourselves with the experiences of pleasure.

At Apollo we work with the process of undoing old stories and giving the body new stories that align with values and desires. We celebrate you as you are, and working with a practitioner allows you to deeply focus on you and your experience without concern of performing or pleasing another person. This is about you.

How would you like to be touched?

Porn Dependency

Porn Dependency

by Cosmo Meens

Lovers & Partners

Lovers & Partners

By Mehdi Darvish Yahya

Art by Vilde J. Rolfsen

Performance Anxiety

The Impact of Performance Anxiety

What happens if we re-imagine performance anxiety to be more like a lack of energetic integration... Sometimes both men and women want to jump right into fucking before warming up. This can be fun in obscure locations and exciting. But for both men and women a certain amount of time to integrate is important. When I have put the pressure on myself to be "ready" any time, any where, I have experienced performance anxiety; I wasn't actually ready yet. Then we look at this as an issue in itself instead of the issue of rushing your body into an experience it isn't ready for. 

What happens when we begin to allow male bodies to have experiences that aren’t just “showing up hard” all of the time? But also as tender bodies who need care sometimes. What happens when we allow ourselves to thrive in our soft cock pleasure, taking the time to feel all the sensations we are capable of feeling without necessarily needing to penetrate immediately. When we slow down and integrate breath and relaxation into our sexuality, performance anxiety slips into the background and we can just be present in whatever pleasure is available to us. Our cocks are not just fucking machines. If our partners are wanting internal penetration, there are many alternatives to explore.

The more dissonance we create with our bodies and desires, the quicker we are to lose our erections. Working with a trained Somatic Sex Educator allows you the unique opportunity to stay present in your own experience of pleasure in your body, without worrying about how your partner is feeling. Join us April 2019 for an immersive experience to move you through performance anxiety.